If I had my way….


 

As ITIL®ISTIC as I am, I continually relate ITIL® to my everyday life… in particular the way in which I, as a customer, deal with suppliers who provide services to me.   Have you ever noticed that THEY seem to dictate how THEY provide their service to me… putting in so-called water-tight clauses which prevents me from ending THEIR contract. 

 

So if I had my way….

  1. ALL Suppliers would be taking me to dinner…including Telstra
  2. All Suppliers must be on hold for at least 4.3min on the phone before talking to me (after having to listen to MY privacy statement – something which I think many of them keep forgetting… or have NO concept of!!!!!!)
  3. All Suppliers will accept MY terms and conditions (which I intend to write in size 4 font!!!!!)
  4. All Suppliers will have to put their complaint in writing addressed to ME, but not expect a reply
  5. All Suppliers will pay me penalties if they are even 1% below agreed service levels (are you listening Mr ISP??????)
  6. All Suppliers will be subject to SSIP (Supplier Service Improvement Plans)… Hang on…. With the number of supplier that I have currently who need it… that will be  a full time job…)hmmm. At least threaten them with it….
  7. All Suppliers will pay me the privilege of changing from one supplier to them…. (are you listening Mr ISP?????)
  8. All Suppliers will attend to me WHEN I SAY, that is convenient to me…., and not within a 4 hour period

 

Ok – so maybe I have beef with my ISP because I am moving 2 streets away and they want to charge me $$$ and a week to swap from 1 phone number to another….

 

….and breathe….

 

Till next time Cheers from the ITIL® Australia Team at The Art of Service

Michael